Secrets of a Convict
by Don'tBlink17
Summary: Yet another girl has caught the eye of a young Sirius Black, but this one is different. Firstly, Sirius is actually serious about her (only Sirius/serious pun, I swear:). And secondly, she was a Slytherin stolen from his sirius' own brother, Regulus. Sirius doesn't realize dating a girl could mean so much, but when Regulus can take revenge, it ruins more lives that he ever planned.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: First off, thanks so much for coming to my story. I'm rather proud of it and even if its not the best story ever, its certainly worth reading in my mind. It will be a five chapter story beginning in Hogwarts and ending (for the most part) at Lily and James' death. Sirius might be ooc, and not much is ever given on Regulus so he might be different than how you imagined him. Even then its still cool to see fictional character's in other people's perspective's right? _**

**_Again, thanks so much for reading, and reviewing would ease my soul. I personally think this is good, but I'm worried that, you know, because I wrote it, I think its better than it is. So an honest review would help so much, good or bad:) Hope you enjoy!_  
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**Chapter 1: The Thief's Secrets**

There is a certain point that everyone must experience after death. It is the moment in the physical world where that person's name is uttered for the very last time. All those beyond the veil know when this has happened. They can feel when their name will never be said again. Some feel as if it releases them from some Earthly bond. Some become sad because they feel forgotten amongst mortals, but when Ariadne Callow's name was uttered for the last time in 1996, Ariadne felt nothing but joy. Most forget that when a name is said for the last time, it most often means that only ones who cared enough to say it are finally joining the better world beyond the veil.

The only person who had bothered to say her name in years was finally coming to be with her, and she was calling to him.

She was overwhelmed with joy. She couldn't stop beaming at the thought of their reunion. Unlike so many, she was truly happy, but she could also she why they were so sad. Somewhere in her mind, she was sad along with them.

But she was able to comfort herself with a small fact that so many people overlook when trying to be the best and the brightest. Most people think life stories start when they are born and the story ends when they die. More think that if they can be the best and be referred to in history books and magazines, then they'll have had a good life story. Others believe that if they can touch people with their story of struggle and romance, then helping others will give them a good life story.

But Ariadne knew the secret. She knew the best stories really only begin when you bother to take a chance, and they only really end when the ones you love come back to you, only to let a new story start again.

This is the story of Ariadne Callows.

o~*~o

At seventeen, Ariadne was a very quiet girl who always kept her head down. She learned from a young age that avoiding eye contact is an obvious signal to adults to just ignore you altogether. Not that she hated being noticed, on the contrary in fact. She loved people to recognize her work for the brilliance that it was, for she was a very good thinker and always had concise thoughts formed in her head. She simply knew that when everyone around her was arguing and bickering, it was best to keep her head down and avoid being dragged under with the group.

That is why she was walking down the hallway with her head down. She knew she was early to meet Regulus, but it was always better to be early rather than late with him. Because the Slug Club was still going on, she didn't expect to see anyone else in the hallway. She especially wasn't prepared to see a very bored Sirius Black waiting outside the potions room.

He was flipping around a piece of paper with his wand, staring without interest down the corridor. She walked a few steps closer and was by the door before she finally decided to announce her presence. "If you're waiting for the Slug Club to finish," she informed him, "they won't be done for another fifteen minutes."

He let the paper drift in midair for a moment while he glanced over to her. He just nodded in a response and went back to playing with his paper. She leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the door. She gave silence a try for a minute, but then decided it felt more awkward than talking ever could, even if he _was_ a Gryffindor. After another second of reluctance to talk, she took a moment to decide on a simple, "So, what are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see my little bro," he answered with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Few others would be able to tell he was lying, but she knew how Sirius was with his brother.

She only stared skeptically at him, not really wanting him to see, but not really wanting her shock to go unnoticed either.

He shrugged, not even bothering to glance over. "Is it so hard to believe that I simply want to see my little brother?"

She mentally scoffed before rolling her eyes at him. She decided to just return to waiting in silence. Sirius actually was as bad as Regulus could make him out to be. He could lie like that to other people, but she was his brother's girlfriend. He should know better than to try to trick her. _Probably just him being a dimwit Gryffindor,_she thought. But then it occurred to her that maybe he didn't know who she was. To be fair, she and Regulus always kept to themselves; they were never quite like the other flashy couples. But Regulus's own _brother _should know they're dating. She felt Sirius _had_ to know who she was, but the thought continued to bug her until she just blurted, "You know about me and your brother, right?"

He stared at her for a second before finally responding, "You and Regulus? I know that you both... play Quidditch?" he guessed, but she just gawked at his ignorance. So he tried again, "You're both, uh, in my charms class."

"Wow," was all she could manage at first. "Never thought I'd have to explain to my boyfriend's brother who I'm dating"

"What," he shouted as his gut reaction. But he took a second to gape in horror and then calm down before saying anything else. She saw a slow recognition crawl over his face, but it was suddenly overshadowed by the bitterness that followed. "I know you," he finally mused with mild resentment. "You're Ariadne Callows, right?" He looked over to her one more time, and then started playing with the paper in his hand again. He unfolded the paper and scanned through it for a moment. He found what he was looking for and considered her with a new disgust in his eyes. "My mother mentioned you in her letter."

"Why was she talking about me in her letter to you?"

"Don't look so proud," he nagged. She opened her mouth to protest, but he just continued, bitterness still dripping through his voice. "I wasn't meant to see the letter. Stupid owl just can't tell us apart." He glared at the paper and made it into a tight ball in his fist. He hurled it against the wall and the paper fell behind a statue with a small thud. He turned to her. "I have to go," he said and began walking away. "Tell dear Regulus that Mother said hello," he shouted over his shoulder, "Oh, and that he should try get his older brother to be more 'normal,' like him."

Watching him walk away, Ariadne realized she had never felt like this before, but she genuinely wanted to help him through his troubles. Helping people was not high up on her list of most important skills, so didn't quite know how to go about it. She considered how much a stranger could really help someone they weren't too fond of, and halfway decided he wasn't worth the effort. But watching him walk away, bitter at her boyfriend, her second thoughts told her it might be better to smooth things over, for Regulus at least.

But that still didn't solve the problem of her lack of a comforting bone in her body._ He's a Gryffindor, _she thought, _they cause their own drama anyway. Its not your place to fix it. _ She was trying to convince herself to do the wrong thing. She had done this many times before and had never felt any regret. But for Sirius alone, her conscience stepped in to say, _but he just needs someone to remind that he's not his brother. You can certainly do that__._ She mentally groaned and as Sirius was about to round the corner of the hall, she said in a voice that she hoped was too quiet for him to hear, "Regulus does talk about you a lot. He looks up to you, though he would never admit it." That wasn't the worst attempt at comfort, she hoped.

He stopped storming off and barely turned around, but after a moment he shook his head and kept walking, calling over his shoulder, "That's a lie. You and him both. You're nothing but lying Slytherins." Okay, maybe comforting wasn't her forte.

"Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean I lie." She thought about her statement for a moment. She did lie, quite often actually. But for some reason she didn't want to lie to him.

"That doesn't change anything," he yelled, but still turned around and allowed her to catch up to him. They were already down a corridor no one ever used. They were free to argue in privacy, they both noticed. "You Slytherins are all the same," he continued," You all think you're so pure and holy just 'cause you're pureblooded. You're all snobby, and vain and too quick to judge. Have you ever even tried giving Gryffindors a chance."

"Too quick to judge," she gawked, astounded. "Have you ever even had a mature conversation with a Slytherin for this long, other than to yell at your brother?" She took his deepened angry sneer as a no. "You may be right about some Slytherins, but aren't I right when I say some Gryffindors are over-confident and disrespectful and just looking for a way to get into trouble?"

Sirius thought up a thousand different retorts and disclaimers, but they all fell apart at his lips. His shoulders sagged and his grimace turned from one of anger to one of remorse. "I think I might actually be that kind of Gryffindor." He leaned against the wall, and sagged down to a sitting position after a while.

Ariadne crossed her arms in the silence. She thought about all of the funny things Sirius would do in their one class together. But during reviews, he also knew all of the answers and was actually really clever. During lunch he could often be seen jumping between his friends at the Gryffindor table or moving over to the Hufflepuffs' and Ravenclaws' table. That's not to say that he wasn't fiercely loyal to his closest friends, and could always be seen finding new ways to make them smile. She hadn't really noticed she knew all of these things about him. Maybe he wasn't as awful as Regulus could make him out to be, once you looked past all of the bad things he does. She sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. "You're not just a stereotypical Gryffindor. You're a person that goes way beyond the box we try to fit you in. You were right about me though. I'm more stereotypical than I like to think." He shook his head in denial, but she continued anyway, in just above a whisper, "but you _are_ right. I do think pure-bloods deserve wizardry more."

"Ha!" he shouted, awakened from some reverie as she said the words. "I knew you were nothing more than a Slytherin!" he said it playfully, but his words weren't joking.

"No," she hit him on the shoulder. "It's not that I hate mudblo-" she saw his face turn immediately cold and she stopped. She collected her thoughts: _He's not a Slytherin. He's not like the others. You don't have to say that word around him. _She took in a deep breath and started again. "I don't hate muggleborns like some people I know. I just don't feel like the deserve magic as much as we do."

"What do you mean? I know a ton of muggleborns who love wizardry more than any of us combined. And other muggleborns that are better at magic than us."

"And that doesn't bug you?" she asked like he had made her point for him. "From the moment we can talk, our parents make sure our magical abilities are coming in well. We have private tutors and special pre-magic lessons and social parties with only other purebloods." Sirius grimaced as he remembered the painful hours spent siting still and trying to behave. "We get told our whole lives that we are the most special, and we work our whole lives to be the best. But muggleborns just have it handed to them on a silver plate. They get to grow up like normal ignorant muggles, and then all of a sudden they have magic and Hogwarts and, oh look, they're already better than us. There's nothing wrong with that to you?"

Sirius thought for a moment, but just shrugged his shoulders against the wall. "They never asked for it," making his speech up as he went along. Ariadne had hers prepared for years in case anyone had asked her, but Sirius simply said whatever came into his mind. I mean just think of the amazement they feel. Just as they're getting to the age where they think, 'when I grow up, I probably won't be able to be Prime Minister, or win a Noble prize or write a famous novel. Some people will, but probably not me.' And then they're told, 'Hey you. You ordinary little kid. I want you to take all of your wildest and best dreams and make them ten times better. Now that is your new life.' Can't you think of the complete and utter joy that overwhelms every other emotion. Instead of being envious of that feeling, shouldn't we try to feel the same excitement about magic all of the time?"

"Maybe," she started but thought about it some more. "I guess I never really thought of it like that before," she mused, oddly open to his radical opinion. He began grinning like he'd just converted someone into a religion. "I mean, it doesn't change my mind, but now I can see it in another perspective," even without changing her mind completely, his grin never faded. She had to admire his persistence. "You're truly one of a kind Sirius Black."

He smiled at her. His smile was sweet and easy-going and made her feel even more comfortable. "You're not so bad yourself, Ariadne."

She had never noticed this before, but Sirius was far cuter than Regulus. His eyes were more open and less worried. There were no fret-lines in his face or bags under his eyes. He looked so fresh and simple. She loved that he could talk to her without cutting her off constantly. He let her speak and made her feel important, even if he was a Gryffindor.

Sirius had never seen quite how pretty Ariadne was either. She had simple brown hair, but it framed her face nicely and made her big green eyes look sweet and interested. She looked too skinny to be healthy, but when she smiled her checks filled out and her eyes lit up. Her eyes were so clouded and worried anytime he looked at her, like a green lake tossing before a storm. But now, just alone with him, her eyes were light and free. She had always seemed so reserved, but now he was wondering how he had not noticed her before tonight.

They sat for a few final minutes before Ariadne stood. "I should go meet Regulus," she paused before taking one last second to stare into his eyes, but then turned. "See ya around," she said and started to walk back. But Sirius didn't want her to go. He was having too much fun. He knew he could say anything to make her stay, but for some reason, he wanted her to stay for more than just a few more minutes.

"Ariadne," he said before she could turn the corner, "why do you want to go back to him?"

She turned and laughed at first. "He's my boyfriend silly."

Sirius stood and took a few long strides, closing the space in between them. "Yes, but knowing Regulus, he probably hasn't told too many people right? That you're dating, I mean." She bit her lip but didn't want to confirm his suspicions. He continued anyway. "It's not because he values privacy. I value privacy. He just doesn't want to be too committed. I'll bet he even asked you to meet him here late at night instead of walking here with him during the day."

"I was busy," she offered, but they both knew it was a lame excuse.

"And I'll bet he doesn't really listen to you either. I mean sure, he'll listen, but the second he has something 'more important' to say, your words no longer matter, right?"

"He just likes being heard."

"And you don't?" Sirius threw back. "You don't have to stay the background but he likes keeping you there, doesn't he?" Sirius knew he was right. He could see it in her eyes. But it wasn't good enough. She would still go back to him. For a split second- Sirius considering letting her go back.

He took a step back and dropped his head. She would go back. He didn't control her.

She waited for a moment. Waited for her Gryffindor to make her stay, but he didn't, so she turned.

Yet he knew he couldn't just give up. He couldn't control her, but he wouldn't give up on her either. He stood up straight and prepared to start talking again. She saw it out of the corner of her eye. She slowed and gave him a half-smile. The confused smile of sadness she used when a real smile just wasn't available.

This was his chance, and he gave his one final try. "Regulus doesn't just have different ideas, Ariadne. He's a Death Eater too, isn't he?" She looked down, but he had seen it in her eyes. He was right. Regulus was a Death Eater, and she hated Death Eaters. He didn't know, but she despised them and hated Regulus for ignoring the dangers. She shouldn't get overemotional, especially in front of Sirius, but she just felt so free to be herself in front of him. She could let her true spirit out in front of him, yet unfortunately, her true spirit felt like crying.

She forced back tears from her eyes. She tried rubbing them away without Sirius seeing, but he could tell. She didn't want him to think that she hated his brother. She wanted to say she loved Regulus. Her first boyfriend. Who doesn't want to love their first boyfriend? But there are only so many things you can deny about a relationship before they all hit you in the face like a ton of bricks. "I know, okay," she finally let out. "I've known for a while and I thought I could change him, but..."

"But you shouldn't have to change him." Sirius finished. It wasn't what she was thinking, but it was right. "And he shouldn't try to change you." Sirius stuck out his hand in front of hers, daring her to take his hand. "Because you're not the Slytherin they want you to be," he continued. He wiggled his fingers and teased her with his eyes. She tentatively took his hand. He beamed and tugged her down the hallway, deeper into the abandoned corridor. "Ariadne," he said, just loud enough for her and her heart pounded with excitement and a new awakening, "You are so much better than any of them can imagine."

He squeezed her hand and put his arm around her waist. She smiled up at him. Her real smile, the one that was so new to him yet felt so right. And smiling together they walked, side by side, down the dimly lit path. But by now they were too far deep to even consider turning back.

o~*~o

_**A special thanks to Steph (TazFromStarship) for inspiring me with her awesome writing and creativity. And so now if it was incredibly awful, I can find a way to blame her:)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Hey, wow. So thanks so much for coming to chapter two! I hope this chapter doesn't seem clunky or unimportant. It all means something in my mind, but leave a review saying what you think. I adore feedback and only want to improve. So thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy:)_  
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**Chapter Two: The Liar's Secrets**

Ariadne Callows had never been in Regulus's room, and she couldn't say she particularly liked it. Not only was it dark and damp and was a rather large room but made anyone it in feel incredibly tiny, it was also the room of her ex-boyfriend. And they hadn't ended well. It was kind of the opposite of well, actually. It involved a lot of screaming, and hurt looks, and the dumping of boyfriends to be with their despised older brother. Well, there wasn't a lot of the last one, but there was enough to make Ariadne Callows uncomfortable in Regulus's room.

Sirius Black also being in the room didn't help too much either. He hadn't seen this room in over a year and was only in it because he hated it slightly less than his own. He leaned against a corner with his arms crossed, waiting for Ariadne to be done talking. Regulus kept glaring at him. It didn't make him uncomfortable, but it did annoy Sirius because now he couldn't leave the room. That would have been a perfect time to go to his own room and grab some muggle posters before they left. He hadn't been here for a while and didn't plan on coming back. But if he left now, Regulus would feel like he'd won. He'd feel like he'd intimidated Sirius out of the room. So now, no matter how much he missed his muggle posters, Sirius stayed in the corner and waited.

Ariadne was looking over a piece of paper. She looked to Regulus, who was glaring at Sirius, who was looking at something on the wall curiously. "When will your mother be home?" she asked Regulus for the umpteenth time.

He looked to the clock more for show than for anything else. "Twenty-two and a half minutes " he replied in a monotone. "A half a minute earlier from when you asked," he looked to the clock again, "a half a minute ago."

"Hey," bellowed Sirius, but Ariadne waved him off. She gave a patient smile to Sirius who turned his attention back to the thing on the wall, while she turned her attention back to Regulus.

"We should go," she said finally, with yet another glance at the clock. "Thanks again for covering for us, Regulus. You've been truly brilliant so far."

"Its fine, Ariadne," his voice still a monotone. He was sitting on his gray bed with a gray face and even the light shining in seemed gray.

"You're sure my mum's owl can reach you?" she checked again. He nodded and leaned over to tap on the window, proving it, in fact, was a window. "I'm really sorry I had to tell her I was staying with you for the summer, but I didn't know what else to say. I mean, I can't just tell my mum I'm running off to go traveling with my boyfriend the summer before I'm supposed to start making a place in the real world, can I?"

"Course not." Still a monotone. Still gray.

"People like her are precisely why we need to get away anyway. All the judging and boxing and bickering. But you've been so helpful Regulus," she smiled at him. She'd never smiled at him like that before she started dating Sirius. He just ignored the smile. He was sure she was only trying to cause him more pain by smiling that new smile. He hated that smile. She continued smiling. "Oh," she added after a moment, "and I wanted to write down an example of what you can send to my mom when she tries to contact me. Do you have a quill?"

He thought for a moment. "In the den. Down the stairs and on your left." She nodded and hurried out. She second she was gone, Regulus locked eyes with his brother. He looked as if he was ready to spit on Sirius, but he stayed calmly where he was. "You've really outdone yourself, this time," he finally said with a sneer, "pretending to be some hero and running off with her for the summer. But I see through it. She's just some other girl on your endless string of them. You'll grow tired, and I'll be waiting."

Sirius only looked at his brother with mild bemusement. "An entire speech? Made entirely for me? How sweet." Sirius rolled his eyes, and shook his head at Regulus. "Unfortunately its all going to waste because, unlike you, I am a real human being who has feelings. And I just happen to have feelings for her."

"And what makes her different from those same feelings you had for Charlotte or Fina or Karoyle? You've been through countless girls. You won't stop at her." Regulus spit the words out at his brother. Regulus couldn't see if his words made an impact but knew what he said was true.

Sirius walked calmly over so that his face was only a foot from Regulus'. "I've made mistakes. But the thing about love is that you're willing to change for that person. And I'll say it. I love her. But you can't even imagine changing for her." Sirius shook his head and took a step back. "I only hope you find someone who you love enough to be the best you can be for her."

Regulus stood, making that already small gap between their faces even smaller. "Love is not having to change. Love is being who you are and accepting that. But you couldn't understand. You-"

But Sirius cut him off. "Couldn't understand?" he shouted incredulously. Regulus tried to shove him away, but Sirius grabbed his arm and held him back. "You're only jealous. You don't know what love is."

Regulus knew he had to tie this up. He heard Ariadne's footsteps at the base of the staircase.

He leaned in to Sirius. "Don't I? You accused me of not being committed, but have you even told _anyone _your plans for the summer? Have you even met any of her friends? How much have you actually changed for her since you stole her?" Regulus asked with a sneer at his brother. Sirius thought for a moment and loosened his grip on Regulus' arm. "Yeah," he said cockily, "That's what I thought." Regulus easily pulled himself from his brothers grip and calmly sat on the bed as Ariande walked in.

"Well, there wasn't a quill in the den," she said merrily to Regulus, "but its okay because I found one anyway." She held up a small black quill and scrawled a note onto a piece of parchment. She carefully folded it and laid if on his bed. She double-checked everything in her mind before deciding what needed to be done next. "My mum isn't very easily fooled," she thought aloud, "so I hope you're a convincing liar."

This time, Regulus even managed to force a smile. "The best," he mumbled.

Sirius turned to Regulus and tried to figure out what his brother had really meant. Sirius ended up only shaking his head, going over to rip the paper from Regulus's wall, and walk back to stand by Ariadne. She nodded and smiled at Sirius. In a very boring yet sweet way, they grabbed hands and simply walked out. Neither of them were really goodbye people. It was easier for them to just assume the story never ended. She waved as she left, but that was about a close as Ariadne had ever come to a proper good-bye. She preferred it that way.

Regulus only felt empty after she left. The entire ordeal was like rubbing salt in the wounds, but after a while, he felt more empty than pain-filled. He would be seventeen soon. No seventeen-year-old should have to go through this turmoil.

He walked over to see what Sirius had taken from his wall. He instantly say what was missing. It was a drawing Ariadne had made for him when she had found out he wanted to be a Death Eater. He remembered it clearly. It began with a small black dot in the top corner of the page, and slowly and methodically the dot grew and changed around itself. It got bigger and bigger until about a quarter of the page down, the systematic growth ended and it sprung out in several directions. It swirled and looped, infecting every inch of the page with its carefully placed ink.

He's always thought of it as her take on Death Eaters. How they began from something so little until they grew into an infectious explosion, penetrated everything with a carefully controlled darkness. He'd always assumed that the drawing was her approval of Death Eaters. Like she was saying to him, "Go, and make the world see who you are." He touched the place where the drawing used to hang. It was empty, so much like him. Obviously she hadn't meant that, or she might be sitting there with him instead of running away with Sirius.

He thought of her and- no. He couldn't think of her. One of the important rules of being a Deatheater was to not let emotions get in the way. When it seems like emtions are getting in the way, go over the rules and make choices based on them. _One, _he thought, _Don't run. Never run. Running is weakness. Don't even run if it seems like you will be captured. It will only make you look guilty and weak. _Thinking rationally was calming him down. _Two, _he mentally continued_, Don't be an outcast. The best way to ruin something is to know how it works first. Get to know it and break it from the inside. _His breathing was normal. This was defiantly helping. _Three, _he hoped he could keep this up, _Remain unattached. Do what needs to be done. Preserve yourself, and don't get too connected with others. _

No, he had been lying to himself. He couldn't do this. How do you remain unattached? How do you not care about the girl you love? Love. He hadn't really thought about love. But now she was gone. Sirius had stolen her. He had stolen every chance for Regulus to realize he loved her. He thought she supported him. He thought he made her happy. He thought they were in love... But it was all a lie, and now his entire life seemed to be a lie. Lie to her. Lie to his parents. Lie to himself.

Regulus looked up at the blank space on the wall. He jumped up and hit the empty space with sudden violence. This empty space would never be filled. This empty space was the hole left in his heart when she ran off with Sirius. This empty space was the piece of his soul that he'd handed over to Voldemort long ago. This empty space was his empty life, sucked away by society. He couldn't deal with that empty space.

He slumped against the back of his bed. He bit back tears and pulled at the sheets of his bed, hopelessly trying to rip them with his bare hands. A piece of paper fluttered down beside his leg, and he reached down to pick it up.

It began with, "You could tell my mother things like..." He glared at the note. Not even seeing the words, but he saw the meaning and it only made him feel even more empty and hopeless. He threw the note into the trash with a profound anger. But behind the note, still lying on the floor, was a short letter.

_Dear Regulus,_

_I know this must be hard for you. Covering for me is really amazing and I just want to thank you._

_I know you must hate me for loving Sirius, but I think the whole reason you and I went out_

_is because some mysterious fate wanted to put me and Sirius together. I know it sounds silly,_

_but I want to thank _you_ for making me so happy. I hope that one day, you can find_

_a girl that makes you as thrilled about life as I am now with Sirius._

_With Love, _

_Ariadne_

Regulus read and reread the note. He sat there until he missed dinner and sleep for that night. And all he could feel was still only that same emptiness. Not pain, though he knew it should be there. Not love, yet he knew it had always been growing within him. Not even rage, even if he knew it would all explode from him in good time. He only felt emptiness. After hours of staring at the letter, it was that emptiness that made him calmly pull a quill from his pocket, flip the note over, and write on the back:

_you could have found love, but Sirius stole it_

He stuck that in the opening where her drawing used to hang. This emptiness, he realized, was a lot like her drawing. It would start as something insignifigant, but it would grow and boil until it had turned into an all out rage. And once this rage found its way into his heart, he knew that eventually, somehow, he would find some way to make Sirius feel as empty as he felt now. Sirius had caused this, and Sirius would pay.

o~*~o

Sirius and Ariadne were walking down a muggle street. She was looking at a map, trying to decide where they should go first. She looked at all the places they could go and became suddenly excited. "Wow," she whispered. Sirius put his arm around her waist. He was happy she was so happy. "Where do you want to go?" she asked.

Sirius indicated that he wanted to see the map. She gave it to him and he stared at it very closely for a solid minute. He eventually turned to her and announced, "Everywhere. I want to go everywhere," and he promptly threw the map into an oncoming waste bin. He hadn't let her plan their trip so far, and he wasn't about to let her start now. She laughed at his map stunt, but did inwardly _did _enjoy careful planning. Just as she was about to open her mouth to ask him where he _really _wanted to, Sirius pulled something from his jacket.

She became curious as she saw the drawing she had made for Regulus a while ago. "What's this?" Sirius asked after she'd spent a minute looking at it. "I could tell you drew it, but you mostly just draw people or places. This seemed so random."

"Yeah," she said with a thoughtful look in her eyes, "I did go out of my comfort zone with this one. It was for Regulus. I was trying to tell him it was okay to change. Like, the little black dot blossoming into something great through change. I don't think he understood though."

Sirius laughed. "Regulus is as stubborn as a hippogriff," Sirius joked. "Change isn't even in his vocabulary."

"I know," she said, smiling up at Sirius, "I doesn't matter anyway. I shouldn't be trying to change people," she reached over and snatched the drawing that Sirius was still grasping. "Especially not with bad old pictures," she laughed as she threw it away.

Sirius paused. Thinking about his words more carefully than usual. "He thinks he loves you," Sirius mused aloud.

Sirius smiled and gave a small laugh, but it was her sad smile and the laugh was filled with regret. "He's jealous. It's not real love. It's-" she thought for a moment, "It's like a love for what could have been" They were both silent for a moment. Finally Sirius looked down at her stuck in thought.

He saw a forlorn look in her eyes and lines across her face. He had made her sad and worried. But he also knew how to make her forget those worries, too. "Siberia," he finally sad. "I want to go to Siberia."

She was confused for a moment, but then realized he was finally answering her question from before. She shook her head, pleased with the sudden distraction. "Too cold. I know! Let's go to Albania. I've always wanted to see a dragon."

"Sounds perfect," he said, happy to have changed her mood. They clasped hands, and smiled to him. Her true smile. Maybe it was because he helped make that smile, or maybe it was just because she was happy, but Sirius had never felt so god in his entire life.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Wow. You've actually made it to chapter three. I am very proud of you at this point dear reader. Tell me what you think so far, or if there's any reward I can get you for coming this far. A very sincere thanks, and a promise that, in my opinion, its worth it. This is a more over-dramatic chapter. And who can't use a little over-dramatized fanfiction for a while? _**

**_If you answered no to that, well, then you should probably stop talking you your computer and simply enjoy:)_  
**

**Chapter 3: The Traitor's Secrets**

Ariadne Callows never thought she'd have a fight with Sirius. But their first fight came eventually, five weeks after they began their trip. It didn't come in the ways most couples fight. It came fast and hard, with little build up. Ariadne denied that their first fight would come, but it never ever crossed her mind to think that it would also be their last.

For months, they only grew closer as a couple. What they didn't know was that an important part of growing is facing each other's flaws. For example, Sirius noticed that Ariadne needed everything to be planned, and then that plan needed to be approved. He assumed those were the aspects that showed the Slytherin side of her. Her need for control and to be in the lead. Ariadne also began to notice the more annoying parts of being around a Gryffindor. His dog-like need for attention clashed weirdly with his astounding self-confidence, making him a mystery on exactly what needed to be said to make him happy.

But over the months, they also found things they truly loved about the other person. Sirius adored that Ariadne was one of the few people who would never pry. If he were to say he didn't want to talk, she would nod and give him space. She managed to do this beautifully because she also seemed interested in everything he did at the same time. She delighted in his accomplishments, but never demanded to know his secrets all at once. And Ariadne noticed immediately that Sirius truly cared about her. In the back of her heart, she always assumed his mentality about dating from his younger years at Hogwarts would return, and she would be dumped instantly. But on the contrary. He loved her more and more each day. He always found new ways to make her smile, and made her know that she was not just another girl. She was his, and they would be together forever.

Or at least that's what they thought, until the fight happened. They were staying in London, and it began with Sirius announcing that he wanted to stop by and see Harry and Lily. She had been writing a letter to Regulus to cancel their lunch, but put it down, smiled politely, and told him to have fun while she found something else to do that day. She had decided she didn't really want to see Regulus, yet she promised Sirius she would keep herself busy.

But this confused him, "Why don't you just come with me?" His hair was pushed back so she could see his eyebrows high in a questioning manner. "I know why we didn't tell anyone in Hogwarts that we were dating. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin don't work in Hogwarts, but we're outside of school now. We should tell people."

She shook her head. "Don't be silly," she said patiently. She never bothered be patient with anyone, except him, of course. "Life doesn't change just because you leave school. My mother would still kill us and so would yours. Your friends just wouldn't understand, and my friends would tell me not to see you. Just because we're different doesn't mean the world will approve. Isn't it enough to just be different together?"

He walked over and grabbed her hand. "Ariadne, you're so concerned with what people might think that you won't even give life a chance. For all you know, you're friends might be happy for you. Just try taking a risk, it might be worth it."

"Don't try to turn me into you," she snapped, pulling her hand away. "You take chances. And that's great, but I'm not the kind of person who would. What happened to my Gryffindor who told me a year ago that I never had to change?"

He gently grabbed her shoulders and looked her tenderly in the eyes. "There's a difference between changing who you are and growing as a person." She looked down and shook her head. She looked as if she really wanted to say something, but only continued shaking her head. He lightly pulled her chin back up with the tips his fingers and tried again, as sweetly as possible. "How do you know that you didn't grow as person before you met me. Maybe you only changed yourself to suit the world, but now I'm here to help you grow into the person you were meant to be."

She shook her head and peeled herself away from his grip. "I was a person before I met you, y'know? I didn't just start living once we met." That was a lie. She realized this after she had said it. That was a lie and she had been trying to avoid it, but it was her first real lie to Sirius.

He walked towards her. Was he going to call her on her lie? Had she proved Slytherins could really be nothing more than Slytherins by lying to him? She never felt like she had to do work to change herself for him. Any changes came naturally, but what if those weren't enough? Would he still love her if she was her real self around him. A lying, uncaring cheater?

Of course he wouldn't still love her. It was silly to think so. But she wouldn't ever stop loving him. He was her entire life, yet she could never admit that dependency to him. He started saying "I know," but she waved him off. "I need to be alone," she murmured. She didn't even know if he heard. She just needed to be alone.

With a loud crack, she was off. She didn't quite know where, and that could be dangerous, but she tried anyway. She felt her entire being squashed and sucked through a small tunnel. Every molecule moved and pushed and rearranged. When she felt put together again, she looked at her new surroundings.

It was cold, really cold. Everything was in another language, but she hardly even noticed because she was so cold. Why was she here? Where was here?

She walked around. She became okay not knowing where she was. It gave her time to think about more important things. She thought and pondered and considered everything that seemed important to her. She thought about Sirius and herself, and about growing and changing. She thought about all the people she'd lie to so easily. But how she couldn't lie to him. She thought about all of the problem's she'd disregarded because she wasn't involved. But with him, all she wanted to do was help. She thought that maybe becoming a different person for him wasn't enough, but she had to be her own person for the world too.

She walked and thought until finally, she felt her mind was clear. She looked around, finally with a free head, and tried to figure out where she was. After a moment, she decided it didn't quite matter where she was. Sirius wasn't there, and all she wanted to do was be with Sirius.

Just as she was about to apparate back to him, a loud crack echoed from about 50 yards away. She beamed. It couldn't be. But it was. Sirius ran to her, and she only laughed at his utter brilliance. "I can't believe you'd be here," he laughed as he hugged her tightly. He let out a burst of air he had been holding in when she merrily hugged him back.

"Why?" she finally asked. "Where is here?"

"You didn't notice? Its Tostloy." He had always used this small Siberian town as a joke to cheer her up. It worked every time. Now, standing in the little Siberian town, holding her, they were both happier than ever

"I know I should try to grow as a person," she finally said.

He only laughed. "I don't care what you do, or where you go or if you change or never move another day in your life. Just let me do it with you."

"Always," she whispered to him. "That will never change."

He snuggled close to her before finally realizing how cold he was. "Do you want to go back? Its freezing out here."

They grasped hands. "Let's go home," she said, and as her molecules were moved and pushed and rearranged, she felt better knowing he was right there too.

She ended up convincing him to still go and see Lily and James, with a promise that very soon, she would introduce herself as his girlfriend. He didn't want to leave her, and in the end he only left when she solemnly swore she would be there when he got back.

o~*~o

This was not the place Regulus had hoped to be. A big circular dungeon with its depressing walls and intimidating people. This was the room they tried Death Eaters in, and he was the one strapped to the chair. He had been like this for an hour though. He wished they would make up their bloody minds. They had little proof against him, and anything they did have was fuzzy at best. Other than simply being a Black alone, he had no connection to Voldemort. Most people did, however, know and admire his father, and would not want to send his only 'real' son to Azkaban for something he may not have even done.

Granted, Regulus was a loyal Death Eater, but they didn't know that.

They had been debating among themselves for a few minutes, until the huge group of dark faces turned to him. One, a man named Andromer Higgins, stood. He and Regulus's father were old friends, so Higgins was naturally on Regulus' side. "Did you bring any evidence to offer for your defense, Mr. Black?" he asked. His body was stern and stiff, but his face was hopeful. He didn't want to send a Black to Azkaban.

Regulus scoffed at the question. The Ministry had been so concerned with capturing Death Eaters that they gave them no warning, no preparation period, nothing at all. They had shown up, and he had been brought to this dungeon with only what he had in his hand. At the time he had been reading a letter from Ariadne. Maybe they had kept that, but they had visciously come into his home and accused him of being a Death Eater. His mother had been yelling violently as his father made a stern promise to keep the arrest out of the public eye. Regulus assumed that maybe throughout the process he had managed to hang on to the letter, but it wouldn't be helpful anyway.

He finally realized he never answered, and finally let out a calm yet stern, "No, Mr. Higgins. I brought no evidence." He had become oddly comfortable strapped to this chair. It seemed that the fact that his life could be ruined by the opinion of these people was some distant future not relevant to him.

Mr. Higgins looked at something in his had. "Mr. Black, you came with evidence, I should remind you," he urged. "The council and I will procede to examine it." His words were a statement, but it was in the form of a question. He was trying to be authoratative, but couldn't quite pull it off. Regulus gave a small nod and the council passed around what Regulus assumed was Ariadne's letter. She said they were in London and that Sirius would be in a flat, but she had promised to meet Regulus for lunch. He'd been here for over an hour now. She should be leaving soon. He didn't see how this helped him or why Higgins insisted on looking at it. But it was best to cooperate but keep control of the courtroom. He had felt their opinions slipping away for awhile, but he still felt reasonably in control. That was the important part. Control.

After several minutes of examining the letter, Mr. Higgins finally stood again. "Mr. Black, this council is undecided upon your personal engagement with the Dark Lord." Regulus nodded. Control. He was still in control. Higgins continued, "Based on the contents of this letter, I want to advise you that the council would not be leniant to communications and plans to meet with other young Death Eaters."

What? No! Meet with other Death Eaters? What letter were they looking at? Where was his control? How was this happening?

Unless, his mind calmed down and began to think more logically, maybe they believe Ariadne is a Death Eater. Ariadne, a Death Eater, he mentally scoffed at the thought. He finally calmed down enough to regain control. "If you're referring to Ariadne, mentioned in the letter, she is certainly no Death Eater." Calm and collected.

Higgins nodded. He flicked his hand and a man went to verify. Higgins looked back to the letter. "And the other one mentioned? Sirius? Your brother? Do you know where his loyalties lie?"

Again, Regulus remained collected, but this time the shock was no longer there. He hadn't expected them to ask about Sirius, but he wasn't as opposed to defending his brother. The idea had never occurred to him before, but the opportunity was there. He remember his vow to make Sirius as hollow as him. And suddenly the words wanted to come tumbling out before he had time to think. He could only remember his emptiness. All that consumed him was his need to make Sirius feel that way.

_He stole her. He would deserve this. _

And his plan was formed, as the words were coming, he again had control. He would do this. He would have no regrets. She might even come back to him. With the thought, he had to suppress a smile, instead, he let out an exaggerated sigh. Time to put on a show. "I didn't want to say it, but I can't lie here," Regulus announced with an air of regret dripping through his voice. "I hope you don't have to punish me, but I had the feeling that my brother was a Death Eater." He saw nods from the council, this was an easily believable lie. Sirius was notorious for being rebellious around the Ministry.

He continued, "I didn't want to confront my brother directly, so I had my good friend Ariadne Callows stay with him to find out."

Mr. Higgins interrupted him. "That is business of the Ministry, Mr. Black."

Regulus nodded vigorously and put on an apologetic face. "Yes, sir. But of course I wanted to help, but I also didn't want to betray my only brother."

Murmurs of quiet approval floated across the room, and Regulus felt completely in control. "Ariadne and I were going to meet just today so that we could inform the Ministry to capture my brother in the flat. I hope you all are not too disappointed in me. I was having second thoughts about turning in my brother."

Mr. Higgins made a yellow grin that didn't quite meet his eyes. "Of course, my boy. This is obviously meant to be handled by the Ministry, but we will verify your claim." He wrote something down on a sheet of paper, and handed it to an awaiting messenger. He whispered a command that Regulus could just barely hear that went something along the lines of, "verify that whoever is in this flat is a likely Death Eater, and then take then to Azkaban to await trial."

Regulus couldn't help but smile. He knew the messenger man, and he knew how lazy that man was. He would simply hand off the address without even bothering to verify Sirius' guilt. His plan was coming together nicely. Sirius would be in Azkaban for a short while before his trial, and Regulus would comfort Ariadne. Eventually the Ministry would realize the mistake, and Regulus might be retried. However, if it worked right, he might just have enough time to win back Ariadne in the process.

He went through the rest of the trial through a bit of a daze. He had missed his lunch with Ariadne, but the council ruled in favor of not guilty. Mr. Higgins said later that it was his loyalty to the Ministry over his own brother that really pulled people on his side. His father said later that no one would ever know of the trial. His mother said later that turning the blame in Sirius was clever and exactly liked the son she had raised. They were all proud. They didn't know the lives he had ruined in the moment he lied. They couldn't see what happened in that moment, and he couldn't see either. None of them were ever burdened with the guilt of what Regulus had done.

For what he didn't know was that Ariadne and Sirius got in a fight before she could mail her letter to cancel their lunch. He didn't realize that Sirius was off with Lily and James while Ariadne was in the flat reading. He had forgotten the orders were to arrest anyone in the flat, and they would arrest whether that person was a Death Eater or not. He certainly didn't know that once someone was in Azkaban, it could take months or even years for an actual trial.

So he didn't realize he sentenced his love to years of agony and emptiness in a fit of childish jealously.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wow, so I hope it's not too obvious I'm just making it up as I go along. And that I'm the worst speller I know. Again, that's why reviews are always welcome. Compliments are lovely, and criticism is accepted and noted if you feel I deserve it. **

**Thank you for reading thus far. I hope you enjoy:)**

**Chapter 4: The Impostor's Secrets**

Nothing was right. Everything was wrong. And Lily couldn't do anything about it.

She was constantly worried. For her future baby. For James. For herself. Nothing she could do would make it better, and everything she tried just seemed to make it worse. They couldn't leave the house, but she had suggested they listen to the Quidditch World Cup anyway. She had suggested they bring Sirius over, and he and James would listen to the game together. These had seemed like good ideas. Quidditch would distract James, and Sirius would cheer him up.

Both of those backfired. Quidditch reminded James he couldn't leave the house. Sirius seemed so down himself, he couldn't possibly cheer someone else up. She needed to find a way to fix this. If only she could make Sirius like she remembered him from school. He used to joke around and point out funny things he noticed. He could make you forget about life for awhile. But now he just seemed to be drowning in sorrow. She had no idea why.

She decided the best way to fix this was to leave James alone with Sirius. That could backfire too. James could get frustrated. Sirius would respond to anger by yelling or leaving. If she left them to work it out, it could turn out badly.

She looked to the two boys. She knew they were grown up, but together, they seemed like little boys to her. And sometimes little boys needed to fight to work things out.

She stood abruptly. "I'll go get you guys some snacks."

James gently grabbed her hand on her way, kissing it softly. "Thanks," he said, just loud enough for her to hear. She smiled sweetly, and walked out of the room, but didn't walk out of earshot. She would be ready jump in if the frustration became too much.

There was a pause when she left, the silence filled only by the crackling of the radio. Eventually James talking to Sirius in a dreamy sort of voice. "You should get yourself a girl, Padfoot." He was teasing his friend, but she could hear there was some truth to his words. "It been a year since that girl left you. You need to move on."

"I'm trying," Sirius said, sounding firm, "but I only recently was able to accept that- that Ariadne left me. Another girl... just seems like too much to handle right now."

"'I'm trying' isn't a valid excuse when you've had a year," James said seriously, all teasing aside.

So Sirius was sad about a girl. A girl that had left him over a year ago. That was plenty of time for Sirius to move on from a normal girl. She must have been different.

"You don't understand," Sirius insisted, but he was careful not to raise his voice. "I loved Ariadne. I loved her more than anything. And she loved me. And I still don't want to believe she just left. I come home, and she's gone, and- I don't want to think she left me."

This girl, this Ariadne, was different. She did something no one thought was possible, Lily thought with a smile, she changed Sirius. James should be able to realize that, but Lily knew her husband too well. He would only see that Sirius was being stubborn. James wouldn't see Sirius had loved the girl. James would see that Sirius was still sad over a girl, when James was scared for his life. James might even become upset, rememebering that he was scared for his life; however, she wouldn't want to intervene unless it got out of hand.

"Come on, mate," James said harshly, finally fed up with Sirius' stubborn ignorance. "She never tells a soul you're dating, you get into a fight, and come home and she's gone. She left you... Its over. Just be happy you can leave the house. Meet someone new. _Live your life._" James was breathing deeply. He never spoke so harshly, especially not to Sirius. But it needed to be said. He regretted nothing. Lily could tell.

This is what she had feared. James was frustrated, and Sirius would explode. Sirius would yell, say things he would never say, run away when he realized what he said. Lily could feel the tension coming from the room. She was prepared to run in, stop the fight that would defiantly happen. But then something happened that no one expected. She heard Sirius sigh, and then pat his friend on the back. "You're right. I've got to move on. I'll go around, sometime," Sirius assured James," and meet some girls."

Lily couldn't believe what she had heard. Sirius hadn't exploded. He remained calm. He assured his friend. She thought about it for a moment. Ariadne must have changed him in more way than one. She not only made him love her. Ariadne had actually changed him. Lily peeked her head into the room. The boys were finally back to joking and playing, like old times. And maybe, this Ariadne girl had changed Sirius for the better.

Sirius playfully hit James on the shoulder. "And when Lily isn't looking, you'll come with me?" James smiled and nodded, mirthfully responding.

Lily frowned. They were joking again, which was good, but they all knew it would never happen.

James would never leave his family unprotected.

And Sirius would never stop loving Ariadne.

o~*~o

Ariadne was strapped to a chair in the middle of a courtroom.

It was dark and empty and desolate, but Ariadne loved it so much. It was away from the dementors. It was so big she could hardly see the back of it. And even the cold was only a cold that tugged on her skin. It didn't invade her soul and destroy he heart. After a year in Azkaban, she would stay in this courtroom as long as they let her.

She so wished it was full, with many bodies making the room almost warm. But only two men actually stood before her, staring down at her. There were proabably gaurds around, she knew, but right now her priority was the two men. Mr. Higgins and Mr. Crouch, as they had introduced themselves.

Mr. Higgins spoke first. "Normally, Ms. Callows, your trial would be in front of a council, but-"

"But your guilt seems so obvious we didn't want to bother bringing everyone in," Mr. Crouch interjected under his breath and with a sneer. Mr. Higgins rolled his eyes, but nodded all the same.

"I wouldn't word it that way, but the evidence is against you, Ms. Callows. And of course it's not your fault your trial was scheduled at the same time as the Quidditch World Cup. But we will give you as fair a trail as possible." He shrugged in a half-hearted yet apolegetic way.

"Now, let's get down to business," Mr. Crouch said with another sneer. Or maybe that was just his face. "You are being charged for planning to commit crimes against the wizarding community with a sentence of twenty-five years in Azkaban." Even his breathy, sour voice sounded nice to her. A year alone can make anything sound nice, really. "Did you hear me, Ms. Callows?" he asked, but she hardly even heard the words. "_Twenty-five years."_

She thought thought back to her year in Azkaban. She hated being so alone, so cold, so empty. Crouch and Higgins had already made up their minds. To them, she was guilty. She would go back, unless she could stall them for long enough. Maybe just long enough to run away. How or when, she didn't know. But where? She would run to Sirius. That much was certain.

"I'm not paying attention to you," she said finally. "But I'm going to assume you're talking about the time I almost became a Death Eater," she hadn't ever spoken about this to anyone. It felt weird to say that she had actually been very close to becoming a Death Eater. "That seems almost three years ago. And I never told anyone. Impressive of you to find out." She smiled slyly.

She deftly looked around without them noticing. The security wasn't very good. They probably thought she was too weak to run. How wrong they would be. That long away from Sirius, locked in the cold, can make anyone find the strength to run.

Crouch laughed at her. Not a hearty, real laugh, but a cold, severe laugh that sent a shiver down her spine. "It wasn't too difficult, when Voldemort has been looking to kill you for quite sometime now."

Looking to kill her? It took her a minute to understand what Crouch had said, and even then she was too stunned for words. That didn't make sense. She backed out of Voldemort's service in her seventh year at Hogwarts. That was three years ago. For the first year, she had known Voldemort would be after her. But she left Regulus, kept her head low, never stayed in one place for too long. She kept quiet and secretive and Voldemort was supposed to forget about her.

Sirius always assumed she was scared of society, which was partly true. Society would take a Slytherin and a Gryffindor and put them under the spotlight. She had almost risked the perfect relationship just to keep out of the way. But it was all for nothing. Voldemort still wanted her dead.

Crouch's eyes closed a bit and his mouth curved upward. Could it be a smile, Ariadne thought. No, it was something far more sinister. "Still planning on running away, are you, _Ms. Callows?" _he enunciated every word. "Even when you know you'll die the second you step out that door."

No, logic said otherwise. "If Voldemort wanted me dead, I'd be dead right now."

Higgins shrugged, waving his head around. "Well, Voldemort might have actually forgotten about your betrayal to the Death Eaters, but it seems something has reminded him. Informants from all over have told us to keep an eye out for you and several others."

They weren't lying. She had hoped so dearly that they were lying, but she could see it in their eyes. They were telling the truth. If she left now, the Ministry would simply tell their informants she escaped, and she would persecuted with in the hour. Found within the day. It wouldn't be enough to travel around, she would be caught. And if she ran to Sirius, she would get him killed, too. Running away wasn't an option, but she refused to think that she would return to Azkaban. She had to find some way to prove her innocence, if she wasn't capable of running. Time to get back to business.

She sat up straight, and Mr. Crouch did that weird, almost smile again. "Glad to see you've come around. Now, do you deny the charges filed against you?"

"Yes, I do," she said trying to sound calm, but sounding more defeated than anything else. "True, I thought about becoming a Death Eater in my seventh year at Hogwarts. I even went through the first part of initiation, but then I realized my mistake. I backed out. I never got the Dark Mark. I never hurt anyone. Voldemort may want me dead, but that can't be a crime."

"You don't know the law very well, do you?" That was Crouch.

"I think what Mr. Crouch wanted to say was, yes. That is a crime. Publically wanting to become a Death Eater is ten years, trying to become one if twenty-five. It is most defiantly a crime. A crime to which you just confessed." Higgins frowned, but it wasn't a frown like Crouch's. It said, "You really could've gotten out of this one." But soon enough he wiped his face of his pity. To him, it was just another case.

"No! No, please!" She couldn't go back. Wouldn't go back. But she couldn't escape either. "You have to understand. At the time, I thought it was legal. That's what Regulus said!" She suddenly remember Regulus. Regulus was the one who wanted her to do it anyway. "Regulus Black. You can ask him. He can prove I didn't do anything illegal."

"We have already sent a letter to Regulus Black requesting his assistance in this trial, but he has not responded, and we assumed he did not want to help," Higgins said formally.

"No! This can't-" she paused, thinking of anyone else who could help her. Not Sirius. She never told him she almost became a Death Eater. It would have threatened his life even more. Not her father. He was disappointed she wasn't actually a Death Eater. Not her mother. "No. Oh, Merlin, no. What would my mother think? I'm supposed to be getting a job. Would she even know I'm gone? Won't anyone care?!"

"Don't worry," Crouch soothed, but his soothing words stung like venom. "We'll send an owl to your mother explaining why she won't be hearing from you."

Higgins nodded, not hearing the knife in Crouch's words. "And if anything," he added, "you wouldn't make it very long in the real world anyway. Anyone who doesn't follow through with being a Death Eater is bound to die long before you will, safe and away in Azkaban."

"This can't be happening," she wailed into her hands. One year was enough, but now death seemed better than twenty-five. "There has to be some way around this!" she shouted at them, but they were talking among themselves. They didn't even look up at her cries. "Listen to me! I won't do this!" but they acted like she wasn't even there. "Why won't you look at me?" she yelled. She started thrashing, trying to get their attention, but suddenly something touched her arm. She almost screamed harder, petrified that she was being taken away, until she looked down at the small hand against her arm.

"Kreature?" she asked, flabbergasted. Why would the Black Family Elf be here? "What in the world are you doing here? How did you even get here?"

"Kreature can apparate where most people think he cannot," was all the elf said. He began moving his knobby little fingers around the restraints holding her to the chair.

"Careful. They'll see you," she hissed.

The elf shook his head. "They will not see us, in the same way they did not hear you."

"That was you?" The elf nodded. She had always assumed elves were only good for folding and cleaning. Who knew they could do other things? "Kreature, what are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you." She knew she should be happy she was being rescued, but she was getting fed up with these cryptic answers.

"But why are you rescuing me?"

Kreature took a long pause and let out a deep sigh. He put his hands against his head, and gross, large eyes peered at her through the fingers. "Master Regulus received a letter saying you were in trouble. He was very sad about it, and sent Kreature to help. Master Regulus would have come himself, but," he house elf let out a quiet sob," Master Regulus had to go on a mission for the Dark Lord, and did not return."

"Course he would die at Voldemort's hand," she said after thinking about it. That's why she didn't join. You lived your life for one man to gain power, but you ended up dead. No one else could see it was a scam, and she had almost fallen for it. Because she went in, and back out, she would die if she left the Ministry now. She would have to be blunt with the little elf. "Kreature, I can't go with you."

Kreature pulled his hands from his face and put them down by his side in confusion. "Mistress Callows, you must come with me."

"Not if I want to live."

"And twenty-five years in a prison cell is living?"

"Listen you stupid elf. I spent a long while thinking about myself. I lied, cheated, and stole for the sake of vanity and pride," she whispered harshly to the little elf, but paused after a moment, loosening her muscles after not even noticing being so tense. "And with.. someone I met, I stopped. I was selfless and loving, and I was happy," but thinking of him wouldn't change anything, "and look where I am now. Stuck between the choice of dying or going through Hell. I can't escape this, no matter how magical house elves are. I won't go with you. And you won't question my decisions."

The house elf looked like he wanted to protest, but only nodded. "Just call me, and I can make it into Azkaban if you ever change your mind."

"Go," she commanded rather harshly. She turned her attention back to the two men, whom she could now hear.

"Did you hear me, Ms. Callows?" Higgins asked. She gave him a blank stare, and he sighed. "Due to the fact that you were of age when you tried to become a Death Eater, we have ruled you guilty of conspiring to harm members of the wizard population."

She should be yelling, screaming, begging for her life. But she was struck. Numb. She would be returning to Azkaban. Retuning to the cold. The ice. The loneliness. Away from Sirius. That struck her as the worst part. She had been so selfish, staying with him when it risked his life. But she had felt so safe with him, so loved. And now, she wouldn't know if he loved her, if he knew where she was, if he even thought of her anymore. She would be alone. Cold, alone, and so empty. But she would be alive, and kept sane by the fact that somewhere, maybe, Sirius was waiting. Waiting for her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Wow, if only you could see some of the typos I have to fix. "... not really talking about their past, but only discussing the furniture they shared..." it was supposed to be future, in case you didn't pick up on that. Not furniture, furniture is far less romantic:/**_

_**You know, at one point, I had a plan to write something brilliantly philosophical or hilariously funny in the Author's Note, but as you can see, that plan crumbled a bit. Hmm, I suppose you'll just have to settle for an ending I literally made up as I was writing this. I actually had an entirely different ending planned out, but no. Plans and I are just not good friends.**_

_**Well, time for my ranting to come to an end. Reviewing is wonderful, and I'd love you to enjoy the final installment of**__**Secrets of a Convict**_**:)**

**Chapter 5: The Murderer's Secrets**

You can't outrun your past. Ariadne always knew that. Was this her punishment for trying? Her punishment for wanting to be a Death Eater was twenty-five years in Azkaban. Her punishment for backing out was death as soon as she tried to escape. Her punishment for lying to Sirius was twenty more years away from him. Her punishment for endangering Sirius was thinking about him every day, but knowing on the inside that she betrayed him.

Her punishment for hoping she could outrun her past was the hope itself. The undying hope that tore at her and grew inside her, repeatedly crushed by the cold voice of reality.

Ariadne knew she deserved every bit of it. She was nothing more than a mistake that would define her forever.

When she first arrived in Azkaban, she had screamed in the night, crying out for someone to rescue her. But that only lasted so long before she knew she was stuck. Then she started talking to thin air, trying to convince someone that she was innocent. But she knew in her heart that she was guilty, so she stopped talking. A little while later, voices started tormenting her. Telling her Sirius no longer loved her... He had moved on. And the voices became worse and worse, until they finally stopped, leaving her hollow and alone. She sat every day in silence, loneliness, ice.

Her life continued like that for years until a Death Eater was moved into the cell across from hers. He started talking to her, but she wasn't exactly sure what he said. She wanted to talk to someone, just to hear what her voice sounded like, but this man was a Death Eater. He would know that she had betrayed Voldemort all those years ago. He would know she was wanted dead. He might feel the need to finish the job. She couldn't risk saying anything, even if she wanted to speak so desperately. She effectively ignored him for awhile. Didn't hear a word he said until finally she gave in, deciding there was no harm in just listening.

She turned her head slightly towards him, not so he could see her but just so she could hear better. "I know you're in there," she heard him shout. He sounded annoyed, she noticed. He lowered his voice as he leaned up against the bars of his cell. "I also know about your little house-elf escape route," he hissed in a whisper.

She sat up and looked directly at him, suddenly trying to identify the threatening Death Eater. No one knew about Kreature. He couldn't possibly know anything. This man was either a liar or a threat. Either way she had to find out who he was, which turned out to be impossible in the dim light.

He let out what almost sounded like a laugh. "So that got your attention, eh? Well, then it's only fair to tell you that I also know about that little lover-boy Black you got outside."

She held back a gasp. No knew about Sirius. It wasn't possible. She wanted to ask the man how he knew, but she said nothing. She couldn't give anything away. But if they knew about Sirius, then he might be in trouble. "How could you know about him?" she eventually asked.

The man scoffed. "You're a convict. You can't keep secrets from the Dark Lord," he took a moment to let it sink in. "Anyway, your boyfriend has been causing some trouble."

Oh God, not Sirius.

"And we know you want out," he continued, "so we can make a little arrangement, if that's what you'd like."

"I won't hurt him," she said the second he finished speaking.

"Honey, anything you do would be to spare him. We don't want to kill more purebloods than we have to. Our Dark Master can forgive even Sirius Black, and you for that matter."

She thought about it. She could do something and be free and keep Sirius safe. It was too good to be true. It had to be. "I don't understand."

He let out and annoyed sigh. "Lemme lay it out clear. The Dark Lord has a plan to gain supreme power. Sirius found out about this plan, and doesn't approve 'cause it involves the death of his friend," the man spoke so casually about death that Ariadne hardly recognized the evil in the word. "Now, you see, we don't wanna kill Sirius, but we can't have him interfering. That's where you come in. You get outta here, run interference, and get your boyfriend back to yourself. And when the Dark Lord reigns supreme, you'll both be on his good side. Win win."

She couldn't believe it. This plan was too perfect. Her with Sirius, forever. This man couldn't be telling the truth, and she wasn't falling for it. "You're lying," she said finally. "The second I leave you're going to kill me... Or kill him. I won't do it." The man gave her another annoyed sigh. "Or you'll just use me to accuse him for some crime you committed. And then he and I will both be locked up here."

Even in the darkness she could feel him rolling his eyes. "Listen, I don't have all day. Your house-elf will be here to pick you up in a few minutes. Now, I know I'm not the face of honesty, but let me be the voice of reason. You can stay here and spend your entire life alone while Black is out with other girls. Or you can go live with your boyfriend and spend the rest of your sorry life thanking me for being so reasonable."

He was still lying. He had to be. It didn't make sense. "And all I have to do is keep him busy? How would I do that?"

The man just gawked at her for a second. "Sirius obviously chose someone on the same intellectual level. Ariadne, you're a woman. Figure. It. Out."

She ignored the comment and thought for a moment. This man thought he was so smart, but his plan had too many holes. "It's been four years," she said bluntly, not showing how the words pained her. "Sirius has probably moved on. How do I know he'd still be interested in me?"

"Don't worry. He's a lost puppy without you. "

"Like I believe that," she said sarcastically. But she wanted to believe it. So badly. For just a second, she considered that it was true. Sirius still loved her. He had waited for her and she wanted to believe so badly- wait, but no. She spoke quietly, almost to herself. "Even if it were true, he doesn't know what I did. I wouldn't be able to lie to him anymore."

"Good God, girl," the man nearly shouted with exasperation. "Do you think we're idiots? We had your little house elf tell him everything. He just learned all about what you did and where you've been. He's waiting for you now. C'mon, honey. I didn't come here for flattery. I came here for an answer. Are you in or out?"

Sirius still loved her. He knew she betrayed him, lied to him, put him in danger, and he still loved her. Past everything, he still loved her. She couldn't let him go.

"I'm in."

o~*~o

For years Ariadne had imagined holding Sirius in her arms, but the best dreams couldn't compare to the real thing. She imagined talking to him, hearing his voice, making him smile, but no fantasy in the world could compare to simply being near him. Nothing could compare to him, seeing him again. The joy she felt when she first saw him was overwhelming, and when he returned her embrace, it was almost too much to bear. To say Sirius felt the same was an understatement. Sirius spent years sure she had abandoned him only to find that she had never given up. He was amazed beyond words. First seeing her, so skinny and pale, but as beautiful as ever, was a defining moment for him. He would never leave her again. He would never let harm come to her. She would be his, and they would be together forever.

They couldn't have been happier together, which obviously made Kreature disgusted. They were too busy kissing and hugging and making vows of love and murmuring names to notice the small elf grumbling. When they finally broke apart, they did so only to kick him out, and then went back to the company of each other.

When they were finally done, (which took a substantially long time) they sat on the bed in Sirius' old room, still holding hands. Even then, they stared into each other's eyes for a while, marveling at their luck and misfortune. Eventually, Ariadne broke his gaze and looked away, suddenly pulled back to reality. Guilt pained her and she had to confront it, but she couldn't look him in the eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sirius. I shouldn't have lied. If I had been honest, we might have been able to," she looked around, at her own tattered clothes, anywhere but him, "avoid this. Somehow."

"Ariadne. No." Sirius touched her chin and gently puller her face close to his. "You made a mistake. It's in the past. We're together now. I love you for who you are. Not who you were."

"That's ridiculous," she laughed at him, but it was a sad laugh that quickly turned into a tender moment. "It's wonderfully, beautifully ridiculous."

"You know I'm right," he told her between kisses. Even a shocked, ecstatic Sirius could have his usual cockiness.

They continued on like that. Talking, but not really talking about their time apart, only about their future together. And there was lot of apologizing, and even more forgiving. And every kiss seemed perfect, inevitable, written in the stars that their kisses were meant for each other. And for what felt like the longest time, they were happy. Sirius forgot he plan to warn his friends against danger. Ariadne forgot she had a deal with Death Eaters. In that moment, they didn't know what Slytherins and Gryffindors were; they only knew how it felt to be in the arms of a loved one. That was enough.

They were all too soon interrupted by a noise at the window. It made Ariadne jump. The noise brought her back from wherever she had gone. Back to the world where the Ministry would drag to Azkaban if they found her. Back to the world where a Death Eater could kill her at any moment. Back to the world where she wasn't protected, and neither was Sirius.

She whirled around to find it was and owl. Only an owl. No one to separate them or kill them. Just an owl.

Sirius reached over and opened the window, never letting go of her hand. He grabbed the letter attached to the owl's leg and let it hop over onto his old dresser. He let go of her hand for a brief moment to tear it open, look it over, and toss it aside. He looked pained for a moment, but turned back to her with a forced smile. She wanted so badly to believe it was a real smile. She wanted to avoid the real world for just a little while longer.

_"Anyway, your boyfriend has been causing some trouble_," echoed through her head. That letter could be important. She had to face reality, if only to keep Sirius safe.

"What was that?" Ariadne asked when Sirius grabbed her in a close embrace. She looked over his shoulder to see a picture had tumbled out behind the letter. It was a picture of familiar faces and a little boy on a broomstick in front of them. She knew those faces. She had gone to school with them. They had been Sirius' best friends.

"Sirius," she said, hesitantly pulling back. She looked at his face. He was smiling, but behind the smile he was distressed.

"It's nothing," but he wouldn't look her in the eyes when he said it. She shifted her weight so she could catch his eyes. She held his gaze, silently pleading for him to be honest. His shoulders slumped as he gave in. "I heard they were in trouble with Voldemort," he said finally, "but I'm sure it was only a rumor. I'd rather stay with you." He spoke with such sincerity, she noticed. His eyes were only full of trust. But the trust burned into her soul. Reminded her that it wasn't a rumor. It was real. His friends were dying and he would ignore it to stay with her.

Ariadne crumbled, taking everything with her.

"Oh Merlin, no. No it wasn't a rumor. Sirius," she said his name desperately. "Sirius, they're going to die because of me. Because I was selfish and I lied. Sirius please I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She broke down. She was killing his friends. Innocent people were dying because she was nothing more than a Slytherin. Selfish, a liar, a murderer. She couldn't escape it. She had to get away from Sirius. If she stayed, he would know she was nothing but a Slytherin. If she left, she would lose him forever. She had to go. She had already lost him.

She stood up and headed for the door, but immediately felt Sirius' hand at her arm. He tried to pull her in, but she refused, not able to look at him. "I have to go," she said weakly, still looking down.

"No you don't," he said with force, but calmed himself down. "I lost you once-"

She cut him off. "Sirius, stop. Okay? I can't do this," she didn't want to, but she finally looked into his eyes. She saw confusion. He didn't understand. "I knew," she began slowly, making it clear. "I knew that your friends would be dying tonight. I knew and I let them die. I lied again because I was selfish, and I thought I could have you back. I didn't even think about them, Sirius. I only thought about you."

He almost looked like he wanted to laugh. Was he mocking her? Becoming hysterical? She couldn't stay. She again tried to pull away, but he grabbed both of her arms and held her in front of him.

"Araidne, don't you see?" he still sounded humorous which worried her. "Passion doesn't mean hatred. And desperation does not mean evil. It's not just you, Ariadne. You're not evil. I would've given anything to have you back, too." All the humor had gone. By the end of that, it was simply Sirius. And Sirius would say anything to comfort her, which is why she knew it wasn't true.

"You wouldn't have hurt your friends. You're the person who cares, and I'm the one who tears it apart."

"Stop thinking like that," he commanded. "You are so much more. Don't you remember the first time we met? Back then, you were a complex person and confused you, and honestly not much has changed. But now you're older and need to accept it. You are so much more than they can know. More than you can know. More than just a mistake or a Slytherin," Sirius paused, making sure she really heard what he was saying. "And I love every part of you."

She nodded and fell into his embrace, even if she didn't really believe what he was saying.

The hugged until while she was trying to find the words to prove him right. She didn't believe what he said, but it was a beautiful thought. That she could be more than a Slytherin. She wanted to be more. She wanted to prove to him she was better. Unfortunately, she knew how to do it. Unfortunately, it didn't involve being selfish.

Ariadne would have to let him go save his friends. She would do it if she could, but she would just put them in danger. He had to leave, which means he might die. It would mean she would defiantly die. She was more concerned about Sirius getting hurt, if she wanted to be honest with herself. Could she risk putting him in danger? No, she didn't want to risk it. But she couldn't have him stay. Staying would mean she had let innocent people die. Staying would mean she had to become a Death Eater to stay alive. Staying would she had proved to be nothing more than a Slytherin. And if Sirius believed being more was possible, she wouldn't give up trying.

She needed to say the words, but they got caught in her throat. They would be the hardest words she ever said. Harder than lying to him then was telling the truth now. But she found the strength in his embrace. She took a deep breath, trying to memorize every part of him, and then began. "You need to go save your friends," she said in one quick, tiny breath. He looked like he was about to protest, but she spoke first. This time with more confidence. "It's the only way to make things right."

He nodded, but murmured that he didn't want to leave her.

"Please," she whispered to him. "For them and us."

He looked into her eyes. He needed to stay with her. They had been away so long that he couldn't give her up. If she died while he was away... Sirius didn't even want to think about it. Leaving wasn't an option. He loved Ariadne, but in a different way he also loved James and Lily. And even little Harry. They would die if he couldn't warn them. "You would die if I left, wouldn't you?" he asked.

She bit her lip. "It's likely."

"Then I won't go."

"Then what do expect to do?" she was hurt, pained by her decision. "Sit by and let them die? You need to do everything you can to save them, or else you won't be able to live with yourself. You need to be true to who you are."

"Part of who I am involves loving you. I love you, Ariadne."

"And I love you, too. That's why you have to go. Four years ago, I wouldn't have cared about selfishness or lying, or even their death. But you loved me, and you changed me. And now, for whatever reason, I care about these strangers. You wouldn't be able to forgive me if they died, but more-so, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

Sirius closed his eyed hard and pulled her in. He pushed a hair away from her face. He leaned in, closing any gap between them. "Ariadne, you are the bravest person I know."

She wanted to laugh and sob at the same time. "Slytherins aren't exactly known for courage."

He smirked and kissed her fiercely. But it was over too soon, and any trace of happiness was gone. "I'll be back soon," was all he said as he hugged her again, and looked pained while he pulled away. He walked slowly and got to the door before turning back. She wanted him to say goodbye. To say goodbye just this once. A goodbye and she could die in peace. But as usual, Sirius did so much better. He looked at her let out a genuine, perfect smile. A smile that warmed her soul, and freed her from reality for one precious moment. "I love you," he said just loud enough for her to hear. And then he was gone.

Ariadne ran over to the window soon enough to see him step into the night and ride his motorcycle away. "I love you, too," wishing he could hear, "more than you could know."

She kept looking out the window, looking at the empty space on the curb where he had last been. She looked at longingly, hopefully. She stared into the empty darkness until it wasn't empty any more. They came about a half-hour after Sirius left. She couldn't see very well, but it looked like there were two of them. They looked confused, until a light suddenly gleamed out into the curb. Kreature had opened the door. The nodded to each other and walked inside. There were three of them, sent to kill her.

She couldn't run away. She had no magic to fight. She had to face them, only hoping that they would end it quickly.

She blinked back tears as their pounding footsteps sounded up the stairs. She couldn't go down fighting, but she could go down with courage, if only to remind her of Sirius.

The door burst open and the three came in, leaving Kreature just outside the door. They saw her, alone and unarmed, and immediately balked. The woman in front sneered and sauntered forward. "So Callows," she taunted, "all you had to do was keep Black busy, and you couldn't even manage that. What's your angle? You want to go down as the person who stopped Voldemort? Well, here's a shocker, no one going to remember you. The Ministry's effectively covered up your less-than-spectacular escape, and your boyfriend is on his way to failure. The only way you'll be remembered is as the first blood-traitor to be killed by me."

Ariadne could only glare. "Is that really all that matters to you?" Ariadne shouted angrily. She looked at the woman with contempt and pity. "I'll be remembered by the ones who loved me," she said gently. "That's what's important."

A Death Eater standing near the door stood up straighter. "You're an idiot if that's what matters to you," he said scornfully. "You're no Slytherin."

It was meant as a petty insult, Ariadne knew, so why did it sting so much? The feeling confused her, until she considered it. Even when Sirius denied it, she had always identified as a Slytherin. It was the place where she belonged, the place where she was destined to be. Sirius said it was true, but she never believed him, until that moment. Being called a Slytherin was supposed to define her, her ideals, her actions, her loyalties, but it couldn't capture who she was. A label that limited wasn't nearly complex enough for any one person. Some other part of her told her she was defined by the changes Sirius made in her, but a person is not what they are in the present. They are their actions, intentions, past, present, and future. They are everything they've ever done, everyone they've ever loved, every act of kindness, and every act of selfishness. No one action can define a person. No label can define a person. Nothing can force them to change or stay the same. They are who they are, she thought, and I am Ariadne Callows. These people will not define me. They cannot limit me. I am boundless. I am free.

Sirius knew this all along, she thought. He's so brilliant; she had to suppress a smile. He would be proud of her, for what she was about to say. "I would rather die," she told the Death Eaters in front of her, "than be simply a Slytherin."

The woman Death Eater closest to her, looked confused for a moment, and pulled back her wand.

The smallest Death Eater in the group pushed past her and looked at the woman scornfully. He turned his wand on Ariadne and directed his anger towards her. His face looked rather familiar, but at that point it didn't matter.

"I love you, Sirius," she whispered quickly, but not frantically. She said it more like it was a simple fact. But she knew it was more than just a fact. It set her free, and changed her forever. Her love was hardly private anymore, but she still felt as if it were a secret in her heart. Because no one else could know what it felt to be loved, so intensely, or irrecoverably, that she would die with freedom, because love was in her heart.

o~*~o


End file.
